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hi, i'm miss tukru. i'm a twenty nine year old finnish lady in south eastern england and i'm confused about everything. i ♥ ♥ ♥ kitties!, unicorns, zines, the moomin, children's books, old things, cooking and baking and knitting, playing with dolls, blood & gore, wizards, vampires that die in the sunlight, star wars, my boy, charity shops, girls girls girls, tattoos...

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VAMPIRE SUSHI ZINE DISTRO & ITS TUMBLR w/ zine news & stuff.
HIPSTERMUMMO 4 LYPHE! - finnish style blog w/ sinikka.

PLEASE NOTE/TRIGGER WARNING: i like blood & gore & guts, and am bound to post stuff with blood and gore. i will try my bestest to include trigger warnings when ever i can / remember. so if you're haemophobic, it might be safest to stay away to stay safe. xx x tukru
Title: Ukulele Anthem Artist: Amanda Palmer 0 plays

sid vicious played a four-string fender bass guitar and couldn’t sing
and everybody hated him except the ones who loved him
a ukulele has four strings, but sid did did not play ukulele
he did smack and probably killed his girlfriend nancy spungen

if only sid had had a ukulele, maybe he could have been happy
maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end
he maybe would have not done all that heroin instead
he maybe would’ve sat around just singing nice songs to his girlfriend

so play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
‘cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn’t mean you’re failing
do your homework with a fork
and eat your fruit loops in the dark
and bring your etch-a-sketch to work
and play your ukulele

ukulele small and forceful
brave and peaceful
you can play the ukulele too it is painfully simple
play your ukulele badly, play your ukulele loudly
ukulele banish evil
ukulele save the people
ukulele gleaming golden on the top of every steeple

lizzie borden took an axe, and gave her father forty whacks
then gave her mother forty-one, and left a tragic puzzle
if only they had given her an instrument, those puritans
had lost the plot completely
see what happens when you muzzle
a person’s creativity
and do not let them sing and scream
and nowadays it’s worse ‘cause kids have automatic handguns
it takes about an hour to learn how to play the ukulele
about same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb
YOU DO THE MATH

so play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
‘cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn’t mean you’re failing
do your homework with a fork
and eat your fruit loops in the dark
and bring your flask of jack to work
and play your ukulele

ukulele, thing of wonder
ukulele, wand of thunder
you can play the ukulele, too
in london and down under
play joan jett, and play jacques brel
and eminem and neutral milk hotel
the children crush the hatred
play your ukulele naked
and if anybody tries to steal your ukulele, let them take it

imagine there’s no music, imagine there are no songs
imagine that john lennon wasn’t shot in front of his apartment
imagine if john lennon had composed “imagine” on the ukulele
maybe folks would have more clearly got the message

you may think my approach is simple-minded and naïve
like if you want to save the world then why not quit and feed the hungry
but people for millennia have needed music to survive
and that’s why i’ve promised john that i will not feel guilty

so play your favorite beatles’ song
and make the subway fall in love
they’re only $19.95, that’s not a lot of money
play until the sun comes up
and play until your fingers suffer
play LCD soundsystem songs on your ukulele
quit the bitching on your blog
and stop pretending art is hard
just limit yourself to three chords
and do not practice daily
you’ll minimize some stranger’s sadness
with a piece of wood and plastic
holy fuck it’s so fantastic, playing ukulele
eat your homework with a fork
and do your fruit loops in the dark
bring your etch-a-sketch to work
your flask of jack
your vibrator
your fear of heights
your nikon lens
your mom and dad
your disco stick
your soundtrack from “karate kid”
your ginsu knives
your rosary
your new rebecca black CD
your favorite room
your bowie knife
your stuffed giraffe
your new glass eye
your sousaphone
your breakfast tea
your nick drake tapes
your giving tree
your ice cream truck
your missing wife
your will to live
your urge to cry
remember we’re all going to die
so PLAY YOUR UKULELE

released 31 October 2011
UKULELE ANTHEM
Written and performed by Amanda Palmer

(via camomiletea)

tangledupinlace:

and she made it through like a boss. love you girl

vampire sushi distro ›

hey could y’all buy some zines so i can feel less guilty about really really wanting to / so i can pre-order the internet forever album? oh and order some new zines! i’ve got a massive list of zines i wanna distro asap and i only have about £20 in the paypal account after paying amber :/

i hates to beg, but hey. also, i’ll be going to the post office on saturday, promise.

(via camomiletea)

fuckyeaholasalo:

© Gabriel Liljevall

i want this jumpsuit. not that it would be flattering on me, but i do not give a fuck. leopardprint every fucking day pls.

(via andr0id)

  • new year's eve 2008: this was the worst year ever, i hope 2009 is better
  • new year's eve 2009: this was the worst year ever, i hope 2010 is better
  • new year's eve 2010: this was the worst year ever, i hope 2011 is better
  • new year's eve 2011: this was the worst year ever, i hope 2012 is better

garlicandgrapefruit:

“Let’s Roll”

Ink Acrylic Photoshop

Kristin Taylor. 2011.

(via moderngirlblitz)

technicolourx:

Junior Senior - Can I get get get (by CrunchyFrogDK)

(via vickylikesdrawing)

oh btw, look what i got from uncle steve & auntie allison, besides them christmas meats… a purple ukulele! i loves it. well, i don’t love the colour, its too dark of a purple for my liking but that’s just nitpicking. main thing is i can has a ukulele! i’m going to drive carl up the wall, already kinda have..

i’m home early cos i’ve got the lurg (had it since christmas morning, bastard) and i felt like i was going to fall off my chair. besides, there wasn’t much to do anyway. so they were nice (for once) and let me come home at 2pm. to be honest, sitting on tumblr isn’t THAT different from work but a) i get to wear my new leopard print jimjams & not so new leopard print robe b) drink as much juice and smoothie at the computer as i like and c) not look at ebay or w/e. i think i might watch me some.. oh i don’t know what i shall watch. i’d probably lounge on the sofa but carl’s home (wednesday is his day off) and he’s enjoying having an xbox that actually works (the old one died this morning so he went and bought a new one, perks of getting manager pay i guess) so yeah.

i think i might go make me another christmas sandwich. we went to uncle steve’s last night on the way back and i asked if they had a bit of bread i could snatch for my breakfast and ended up with several slices of christmas meets and some crisps. i do not say no to free food. either way, it’s good to be home in a real bed and stuff.

yoursecretary:

always reblog gay vampires being gay

zaracarpenter:

Just finished the pigeon hat so I’ve decided to change my outfit for the ball so I can wear it

zara looking good, as always.

my books, my books, my lovely chrimbo books. already read most of the sookie companion instagram)

carl’s doing a sassy dance to saints row. (Taken with instagram)